On Thinking

“I think and think and think, I‘ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.”
Jonathan Safran Foer – Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

A quote in a novel I did not read, (besides in the Google search for “quotes about thinking,”) nor did I see the film adaptation so I could not tell you if the quote made its way to the silver screen. I can tell you, however, that Tom Hanks is in the film, so it is probably decent enough to check out…

I like to think that I think often and about things that pertain to pertinence. It is certainly pertinent to me, but not by societal norms at all.

I think about how uncomfortable I am wearing what I call my monkey suit, which is just pants and a button-up shirt. I think about whether or not the AC will be functioning at work because I wear an undershirt to go along with the button-up shirt or else the button-up is way too itchy and I feel awkward if I have to raise arms for anything. I think about how I wish I was talking to people on NPR because to talk  idly through intellectualism is so fascinating to me. I think about needing to get gas on the ride home from work when I am driving to work, and regret not being able to think up an excuse to not go to work because I have exhausted most excuses already. I think about ways to avoid doing work while at work, but at the same time I think about getting other work in a different job. I probably apply to three jobs a day while I am sitting at my desk.

I would not describe it as overthinking. Personally, it is just what I need to think about at that particular time. Exhausting, yet necessary.

But if one were to dissect Foer’s quote and view it through the lens that is my psyche, it would seriously hit home, give or take a few happy thoughts here and there throughout the years. By no means am I saying that I am consistently unhappy. Perhaps the idea of happy is better left to the individual, and even that is simulated through a case-by-case basis. What I am saying is that happiness is just a thought and it is tough to think about when there is so much else to think about.


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