One of Those Days

There is a scene from a Justice League Unlimited episode where the Justice League was taking on a Lex Luther infused Braniac, and the only way the heroes could defeat the villain was for the Flash to run so fast he could barely be seen by Luther. Long story short, the Flash rounded the world over and over again to break through Luther’s defense, but he runs so fast that he is unable to stop. Everything stands still and everything is silent. Obviously in the episode, the Flash and the rest of the Justice League never wants to be presented with a moment like that again. It scared him and the team almost lost a member of their hero gang.

I, on the other hand, am not sure if that is such a negative outcome. If it could be controlled of course. Stopping time would be extremely useful. Do not think of the fucking up of  the time space continuum thing for a moment, and just think about that one extra moment that seems like it is always out of reach or that was missed.

It is always “never having enough time, yet a bunch of time that was wasted.”

It is oddly ethereal yet burdensome at the same time, and verging on experimental. There is a part of me that wants to test the limits for the sake of research, for the sake of knowledge.

How long could I go without actually noticing a change or being noticed? Bubbled and coupled within myself. At the same time I think I might spend too much time inside of my head. Then again, who created the amount of time one is allowed to be in an introspective moment? I love it in there. For the most part.

There is a part of me that feels sickened by that way of thinking though. Something has taught me that kind of behavior is lazy and irresponsible. I use humor to justify my desire to be ignored and devoid of responsibility.

“It would be awesome to be (fill in whatever disability you’d like) so no one expects shit from you.”

All of my being is contradictory and hypocritical because all I ever try to do is be of use. By doing right by everyone looking at me, yet never truly asking me of anything, but I cannot dis-spell whatever societal expectation that has been ingrained in me for my entire life.

Every action I seem to take goes against the my desire to shirk my responsibilities. Do not be fooled by the implied tone of that sentence. By no means am I trying to be funny and sarcastic as if I do so much shit that I am consistently busy and it is all for the sake of others, like I am some advocate for giving, and weirdly for the American Dream.

I would much rather just pick and choose responsibility rather than feel like I have some expectation that was never placed on me in the first place.



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